Avoiding the “Resentment Cycle” Monster

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Because anger is a human emotion, we all experience it. If we are not aware of its existence or presence in our lives (because we are suppressing it), or if we believe we are allowed to do whatever we want and be angry whenever or at whomever, our anger most likely will turn into resentment. Resentment is anger that has ripened through time and experience and we feel justified in the expression or manifestation of it. Resentment oftentimes comes from expectations that we have that don’t come to fruition. If we are not aware of our expectations, or if we are unable to manage and be responsible for our expectations, they will turn to anger. The truth is, we are responsible to manage our anger and if we don’t, we will have resentments.

The resentment cycle is an example of how we move through this process. It shows us how resentment starts and where our resentment/justification takes us along this cycle. If we don’t arrest its progression, resentments build in strength and distortion along their way to further resentments. The only way out of the resentment cycle is to get into the truth of the experience and not take the experience personally. Then and only then can you free yourself from the trap of anger and resentments.

Remember: Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. Be conscious of your expectations!


In addition to the information above about expectations & resentments, visit www.JodiHildebrandt.com to learn more.

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The Author

About the author: I am a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of Utah. My work in addiction treatment has taught me that everybody can overcome addiction, destructive habits, and the shame that drives those things. The most important factors for healing are honesty, responsibility, and humility. When we learn how to provide these things for ourselves and for others, we become powerful and full of joy.


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